The Evolution of a Photographer Pt. 3

Posted on | February 26, 2010 | 2 Comments

I felt very self-conscious about going to art school because I had never considered myself to be a serious artist. I fell right in step in the photo department and it turned out to be a great fit for me, but it took me longer to feel comfortable and capable as an “artist.”

I realized very quickly that because I was a transfer student and was only going to be there for four precious semesters that I was going to have to focus in on something if I intended to get anywhere with a particular concept or way of working. I knew immediately that I was going to pursue self-portraiture. I could not think of any other place that I could receive the feedback and support needed to develop my work.

The theme of the housewife/repressed woman came back and I grabbed it by the neck to wrestle it out for all it was worth. I began working with Chris Johnson, who is a teacher like no other. He taught intuitively and taught us to listen to our own creative process. Not all the students were into his approach, but for me it was like I finally found a teacher that spoke my own language; one in which images themselves become facilitators of thoughts and ideas.

Critiques with Chris would sometimes delve into unknown areas of philosophy, politics, the nature of desire…there were no limits. During my individual meetings things would come up that I thought were not known to the viewer; things that I myself was in denial about. I felt like I was being seen through by everybody. I felt that I had to dive deeper to make better pictures, to make images that mattered to me….images that I could not live without.

The environment of art school gave me the platform to challenge myself. Every single decision you make, down to the tac you hang the image on the wall with could be questioned. All of a sudden everything mattered, right down to my intention for making a single photograph. I was constantly asked, “Why self-portraiture?” and, “Why you?” It’s not an easy thing to answer. It comes down to process for me. I am an extremely process-oriented artist. I have rules for myself. Rules that help me stay true to my own personal craft of photographic self-portraiture.

One of my rules is that nobody but me trips my shutter or focuses my camera. This creates some serious challenges to the image making process. I think that I rely on these limitations to create my work. This means I have, at most, 15 seconds to get from behind my camera into position in front of the lens. This also means that I have to go back and forth from these two positions for every single frame. If stairs are involved this can get quite exhaustive.

Focusing my camera takes a few methods I have developed over the years and a whole lot of guess work. I use polaroid peel apart film on my camera to proof my work and find this material and element of my process to be quite precious. I covet my polaroids and what ends up happening sometimes is that I get the best shot on the polaroid and it never makes it to the film in the same way. I use these polaroids as part of my work and show them along with prints from negatives. I think this adds an interesting tactile element as well as portraying the materials of my process. I have also started experimenting with scanning the polaroids and printing them large, digitally.

My progression at art school was fast and intense. I felt like I was being turned inside out over and over again. I was vulnerable and powerful all at once. I let myself get consumed fully and I loved it. Some of my work displayed elements of eroticism and I was still playing out imagery of a repressed woman.

My first body of work in art school was called house broken. It was a series of medium format B&W images of me as a 1950s housewife in a bare white room. I got permission to shoot in an empty apartment of my building for one night only and I shot the whole thing during that short time period. I remember the feeling of working alone in that stark white empty apartment and how thrilling and exciting it was. I used artificial lighting and shot the whole thing in color and B&W just in case I wanted to use both.

I had an idea of the character that I was portraying in my mind and had been developing and writing about her for months. When I get in front of the camera I am never quite sure what I am going to do or how I am going to react to the situation. I really try to put myself into the scene. I style my hair, do my make-up and wear period clothing to support the scene. It is amazing what the stiffness of a girdle can do to your mood.

My senior show for art school was titled “Casa Bonita” and was a selection of self-portraits that were all shot at my apartment building, the Casa Bonita (an old 1930s hotel). The show depicted a wide range of self-portraits that go from purposefully snapshot awkward to simple beauty. There was one piece that included three 5×5 inch B&W photos that were lying on a small vintage book entitled Portraiture Simplified, with an image of Rita Hayworth on the front. The book shows you how to take pictures of women and how to make them look beautiful in photographs.

I went through big shifts at school where I was pushing different methods and ways of provoking myself during shoots, looking to find something unexpected. I was confronted with the image of the repressed woman. My use of artifice was greatly challenged and I had to dig around to find out why this image of a housewife kept persisting.

This is part 3 of a 4-part series written by Rosey Lakos. Be sure to check out The Evolution of a Photographer Part 1, Part 2 and Part 4. You can also see more of Rosey’s work at RoseyLakosPhotography.com.

Category: Art, Culture, Photography
Tags: art school > photography > Rosey Lakos

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2 Responses to “The Evolution of a Photographer Pt. 3”

Marina Molnar
February 28th, 2010 @ 10:33 AM

Good for you, Rosey! You’re so talented and driven, you really deserve this recognition and then some. Best to you, always!

~M
Jennine
March 5th, 2010 @ 8:09 PM

I really liked reading, “I felt like I was being turned inside out over and over again. I was vulnerable and powerful all at once. I let myself get consumed fully and I loved it.” I can relate that to photography classes I have taken as well. Especially in Maine. I miss that. Must get more. I haven’t gone to complete art school, like you have but have experienced glimpses of what you’re talking about. You’re lucky to have lived it. It will always be a gift for you. And you can continue, will continue to grow as an artist. And I will find ways too. Thank you for telling us some of these private thoughts, feelings, creative processes growing and morphing….such a treat, for me personally anyway ; )

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The Evolution of a Photographer Pt. 3

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